How To Ask Better Questions?

We tend to underestimate the role and importance of self-questioning in our lives, or even in our encounters with others. Questions are a powerful tool to help us get through the rough times or decision making procedures we sometimes feel lost in. Questions can help with making your desires clearer and understand the path you should most likely choose when facing an unknown situation.

 

But not all questions were born equal…

 

Asking questions is a form of art that we can learn over time. If the questions we ask are not good enough for our needs or situation then they will probably won’t help us as much in solving the problems we face. Which begs the question “what are good questions?”.

 

Anyone can ask questions, we are being asked questions almost every hour of our daily lives in almost every situation, but most of these questions will not get us too far. Are you going left or right? Do you need baby oil with that baby? What kind of muffin do you want with your coffee? Ordinary questions, every day questions, will only help us to take the next small step and will not help us with the big stuff.

 

When you’re facing a big life decision, like changing a career or moving to another country, ‘what kind of muffin do you want with your coffee’ just won’t help you to get very far. You need to understand all the different aspects of the situation you’re in right now, how it’s going to change according to your decisions, and what is the right process to follow to achieve those goals. In short, you need to understand what is it that you really want.

 

My advice usually is to start with the small stuff, to practice. In the case of that muffin I’ll go with “why do I want that muffin to begin with?” or “would this muffin make any difference to me at all?”. I know, seems very silly to ask any questions about a muffin, but remember, we’re practicing. Later on, when you get to the big decisions, it’ll become easier to understand what questions you should ask and to understand the answers that follow.

 

Let’s continue with some examples:

Why do you want to move to a different country? Is it because you’re running away from something or is it because you’re looking for a new adventure? Can you find this adventure where you’re currently at? Are you running away from your family because you don’t want to deal with them anymore after the last event? Do you think that if you run, your troubles won’t follow you? How do you feel about leaving everyone and everything you know behind?

 

What do you really want to do with your career or profession? Is it to work as an employee for a company or to open a business of your own? Do you even want to work at all? Do you love what you currently do? If not, why do you keep doing it? Is making money enough for you to keep your current job? Do you think you can handle the risk of changing your direction? Do you feel like your work is making you a happier person? Is it beneficial to your family or relatives around you?

 

Every situation has it’s own questions, those were just two examples that I can go on asking questions about for a long while, but you should also consider the follow-ups when it comes to questions, it all depends on the situation and it’s really important to agree with the answers you get and to understand the emotions that will come during some of these questions because, trust me, there will be many of them.

 

The follow-ups are very important as well and it’s usually very helpful to have someone else asking you the hard things you choose to ignore or don’t want to ask yourself because your subconscious mind will play many tricks on you when it comes to things you don’t want to see, that’s just how our minds work. Make sure you trust the person you elect to help you with this process because it can be the difference between an extremely productive process and a very disappointing experience.

 

Thank you for reading.